Wedding Weekend

I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated, but I had typed these entries as they happened so I’ll just post them all!

In between stopping at the med unit in Bamako and heading to Segou for a training session with an NGO, I spent the weekend with another volunteer in her site (rather than come all the way back up to Djenne for just a few days, and also it’s always fun to see everyone else’s villages!). I couldn’t have picked a better time, because it turned out to be wedding weekend! In her village, all the weddings take place on the same weekend. We think this is to prevent each family from having to give money to every griot, because if the weddings are all happening at the same time, they have to split up and can’t all be at the same one. Usually you are born into a griot family here, and they generally attend weddings, naming ceremonies, and other events and give people blessings. They sing songs about the people and how they are going to find money or peace in the future, and then whoever the song was about gives the griot money. In a bigger village, if your wedding was the only one happening, you might have to pay a lot of griots for coming (even though you didn’t invite them!). Anyway, it was really great to be in her village that weekend since a member of her host family was getting married and we got the inside scoop as to weddings in Mali (or at least in her village). Marriages here seem to just be about totally different things than what I was used to in the States. For example, it’s possible that the woman has never met the man she is going to marry, and normally the marriages are arranged by family members. Also, in the case of the man we knew, he was marrying his second wife, who was probably not more than 16 years old. The saddest part for me was that these women are basically leaving their families forever and going to live with someone they maybe don’t know at all. Obviously, that’s pretty upsetting to think about, and the women cry during a lot of the wedding events. I’ve been told that this is what they are supposed to do, because they aren’t supposed to seem excited, but I also think they are probably genuinely sad to be leaving their families and friends. One girl’s husband had even come from a different country just to marry her, and then they were returning, so she may never see her family again.
I don’t want this to sound like weddings are all bad here, but there are definitely some sad parts. There’s tons of eating of good food, dancing, and visiting, and family members travel from far away if they can to be there for the wedding of a relative. The bride also gets to stay inside for at least three days, which might sound boring (and probably is a little) but I think it’s probably also nice for the women to have all their meals cooked, and not have to work so hard for a little while. They also get really dressed up to go to the mayor’s office, and everyone comes and gives blessings and greets the new couple.
All in all, it was definitely interesting to see, and something that I probably wouldn’t have gotten to experience unless someone I knew well in Djenne was getting married (and pretty much everyone I know already is married!).